MURDER YOUR THIRST!!!!
Straight From Mountain to Can
This ice-cold sustainable can of Liquid Death won’t just refresh your body, it will murder your thirst.
Our proprietary thirst murdering process begins with Liquid Death first entering your thirst and eating through your thirst’s stomach. You will then be pleasantly surprised to feel your thirst’s intestines spill out onto the floor. This is how you know the murder of your thirst has begun. You will soon feel Liquid Death begin to form a rope of veins that will wrap around your thirst’s head and strangle it. Once Liquid Death reaches your thirst’s brain, all your thirst’s memories will be replaced with repeating loops of its own head imploding. Which is exactly what happens next by it causing your thirst’s head to implode and its brain to squirt out of its ears. Once your thirst has been murdered, and its corpse lies on the floor, the soul of your thirst will begin to escape and float towards the ceiling. At this point, drink a second sip of icy Liquid Death to pull the soul of your thirst back down into its own hydrated hell and force it to begin glueing its own body parts together so that it can crawl inside you and eventually grow back into a fully formed thirst once again.